Wednesday, October 19, 2011

On the Road to Garrett


So I am a seminarian.  These words still sound foreign to me.  This is my first semester at Garrett, and I commute each Thursday, as I travel 115 miles from my hometown near South Bend, Indiana, and then after my class, I pack it all up and travel the same distance home again.

As I journey along this road each week, I am ever amazed at the spiritual insights that the Holy Spirit brings to mind.

I am immersed in the wonder of being part of the traveling “community” of vehicles. In the afternoon, I am driving at a steady, yet hurried speed along Lake Shore Drive, gazing at the beauty of Lake Michigan, while maneuvering through the lanes of traffic.  

At night, driving on the Dan Ryan towards home, I feel like a tiny red blood cell in the sea of red lights, flowing along the expressway.  Flowing towards my destination - home.

On my drive home, there is a certain spot on the expressway, where I look up and see the wondrous beauty of the city – with lights glowing in the tall buildings, and against the black night sky it looms over me in my little car with magnificence.  The image takes my breath away every time, and it reminds me of the glory and grandness of God’s call on my life.  There is purpose in what I am doing at Garrett.  I am being strengthened and prepared to join the ranks of pastoral caregivers that offer grace and leadership to Christ’s Church.  I cannot gaze for long, since steady focus is necessary for me to make it to my destination.  I must be looking forward, paying attention to the right, left and behind for obstacles.    I am a particle in the flow of something much bigger than myself, and it is exhilarating. 

                                                      http://www.flickr.com/photos/85625337@N00/249587784/in/photostream/lightbox/

As the chaos of the traffic and sights whistle past me, I sense a steadiness, a stillness in the car, and in my soul – the presence of God is with me, and he guides me with assurance and comfort.

But, I believe it is all about finding a balance between “good sounds” and “no sound”.

On the way to Garrett, sometimes I listen and sing out loud in my car to worship music.   At times I am led to just turn off the radio or CD, and drive in silence, talking with God out loud in my car, or just enjoying His presence, while meditating or listening to what He might be wanting me to know.

On the way home, however, it is quite different.  Fueled up by the wonderful energy and thoughts of my Intro to Pastoral Care class, many miles are spent pondering what we talked about, and many challenging thoughts of that evening come to mind. It is late, and I have my coffee, and it is here that the louder and faster the music, and the more noise for me the better.  My favorite radio station plays the old rock classics, and the loud beat keeps my mind alert. The drivers in Chicago are very different than the drivers in South Bend, so I need to pay attention. 

I am sensing, as my weekly drive continues to become more of a routine, a challenge to devote this five-hour block of time to these two question:  “How can I honor God and remain faithful to Jesus on the journey?  How can I be faithful and use these hours to their fullest benefit?”  I am looking forward to new discoveries in this area.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Seminary and life

A long weekend!  Since my last post, I have graduated from Bethel College, diploma received, honor cords received in mail, summer done, Senior High church camp was a blast!  Attended Annual Conference for first time in Muncie, Indiana, preached at my home church in July, and another church in South Bend in May.  Accepted into MDiv program at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois (G-ETS) and am commuting one day a week.  I have a new part-time job at Working Force Outfitters, which I love.  So much to be thankful for.  Our friends Gary and Diana Scott visited with us a few weeks ago, we all had a tremendously good time, and life is busy!  My daughter Amanda is signed up for Disciple Bible study, and this makes my heart swell.  I am hoping and praying that she has a wonderful experience in her class!

In the midst of busy-ness.... I must take time out to put these words into this writing.  The picture of the tree is from my friend Tammy, and I know she won't mind that I borrowed it for inspiration.

"Father, I adore you, and I lay my life before you....
    oh...I love you...
 Jesus, I adore you, and I lay my life before you....
    oh...I love you...
 Spirit, I adore you, and I lay my life before you....
    oh...I love you..."

" I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice
  To worship you, Oh my soul rejoice!
  Take joy, my King, in what you hear
  May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear"

God's grace, beauty and loving provision floods my soul, and I fall to my knees in thankfulness and humility.
And suddenly there are no words necessary....

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Life is SO about relationships!

It is early morning, and there is so much to do before I graduate from Bethel College on April 30.!!!  Trying to keep it all together and stay focused!!!!   What a challenge!!!   I was thinking this morning about all of the relationships that have been a blessing to me throughout these past 6 years.  The relationships and memories are the glue that binds my brain cells to my heart cells.  The inner formation that has taken place through challenges, laughs, struggles, disappointments, discussions about faith, God, his Kingdom, heaven, hell, salvation... all of these things have come together to help form me into a better person.  And hopefully, someone who is more faithful and more in love with our Savior.  Someone who is better equipped to serve others, and Him.

I am thankful and indebted to so many people who have supported me throughout these years... mainly Rich and Amanda, who have tolerated the endless, endless, and I mean ENDLESS stacks of ministry and religious books everywhere!!!!


                  BOOKS!!!!!






Here we are visiting Amanda while at Ball State



Here is one of my favorite, favorite pictures of relationship...especially little Bubba!


And here is a picture of Amanda that I just love....she is such a dear sweet JOY and blessing from God!!!



My best friend Jeannie has been an inspiration and the wind under my wings on so many occasions!  I truly love her, and praise God for her genuine spirit, and faith, and grounding, and what would I do without her in my life!


And this is Jeannie with her son Alex....




    And of course, Gary and Diana have been there through these years. 


Of course....our relationship with God.  The MAIN relationship.  (smile)  I think of my relationship with God, and my desire to work for Him, and serve him fully.


Yes, it is all about Relationship.... we decide...how will we choose to live out our relationships with others... how will we choose to live in our relationship with God, with God's Son, and the Holy Spirit...

There are many others that I have not pictured, but time is creeping by...and there will be more posts...

I have found that often these relationships flows automatically, but ultimately, on most days, it must be a decisive choice we make.  Relationships are a gift we give to others, and a gift we receive.  Grace.

Grace.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Teacher of Teachers - Holy Spirit Come!

I am currently enrolled in an undergraduate course to learn how to preach sermons.  I am not sure at this point how often I might be called to do this, but will certainly need this skill if God has called me to be a pastor.

Who teaches us?  Is it God?  Is it the Holy Spirit?  Is it Jesus who came to this earth, walked among us, ate and slept and lived among us, and taught us great things during his lifetime and ministry?  His Words live on the pages of Scripture and continue to teach people today. 

God’s Living Word.

All of the above is our Teacher.

Our professor, Rev. Smith has been very faithful in his homiletics teaching. He says really inspiring things like, “the Word of God does the Work of God”   Actually, I think this is his mantra.  He insists that we must take God’s Word and make it central to our preaching.  “Lift up and adorn God’s Word.  Lift it up high, and let it do the work in changing the hearts of the listeners.” 

“Do not underestimate the power of presence in your ministry.” 

He also instructs us that preaching is an Incarnational act.  The Word of God is the Story of God.  Jesus is central in the Story of God.  Be sure to lift up Christ in your sermons.
“Do not water down the message!”

That is exactly what Professor Jim was doing on the night of January 27th.  Our class consists of 11 students, of varying ages and worship styles.  A few are pastors who already preach weekly.  One is a wife of a pastor.  Several are from a very charismatic style of worshipcalling out to the preacher during his sermon is common for them. Two of the people are conservative Methodists. Three are women, and the others are men.

That evening, the professor was teaching on preparing a sermon series and spoke about the common lectionary and the Christian church calendar.  To most of the class, this was very foreign, but in essence, the purpose was to help us remember to keep Christ at the center of all our preaching.  Of course, many significant days of our culture come into play, like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, etc.  But his main point was to prepare in advance, and even if you do not serve in a church that follows the Liturgical calendar, you can make the lectionary or church calendar be the governing force in how and what you decide to preach. Preach Christ!

Professor Smith always lifts up God’s Word in his teaching and in his weekly “mini sermons” which we analyze.  I think God must be pleased with our professor’s work, and some prayer must be happening, because what happened that evening of January 27th will forever change the way I see preaching.

This night we were to hear two of our fellow classmates preach. Both were very good sermons.  But, something mysterious and Divine took place that night.

The second classmate to preach was Don.  He is a pastor who serves in a small church  near my hometown.  Don is a quiet person, with a calm demeanor, sort of small in stature, and soft spoken in nature.  Unassuming.  Humble. 

He got up to speak, and was preaching from the book of 1 Chronicles, chapter 22, verses 1-19. He gave us an outline to follow, and began to share a little of his church with us. He prayed and then read the scripture aloud with confidence.  Something began to happen about a quarter of the way into his sermon.  His voice deepened, and grew louder, firmer.  His facial expressions began to grow in intensity.  He paced, and stood still, and had the right amount of pause in his words, and his voice spoke with AUTHORITY.  You could not help but put your pens down and listen.  His sermon points were well outlined.  He had his own notes at the podium stand, but mostly spoke directly to us. 

His words were met with comments from his listeners – loud exclamations of “Preach it brother!”  “You got it-keep on!!”  “Amen!!”  “Praise Jesus!”   “Come on now!"  I was sort of quiet, striving to follow what was happening.

Two parts of this sermon very strongly affected me.

In one part, Don tried to explain about the way King David provided his son Solomon with materials to build God’s Temple.  In Scripture, there are many elements listed: wood, gold, etc etc etc.   Vast amounts were needed!   When Don, paused thoughtfully and looked around. Was it possible that he was not sure of the right way to word this?

Just then…in a thundering voice he declared:

“It was a bunch!”  Bunches!”   This is when I detected something very wonderful and marvelous.  Don paused in his speaking, and his face lit up, his eyes changed and his stature increased- his words were spilling forth from his lips:  “God is a God of bunches!!!!”  “God is a God who Provides!!!”   God is a God of enough!!!”  There was furry and might in his words!  They had IMPACT!   Any person could see that there was something beautifully more powerful than human words flowing from this servant of God.

At this point, for me it was clear- God had officially joined our class.  The Holy Spirit, or presence of God was in full charge of this humble minister and student.  God, the great teacher and provider had showed up to personally instruct us on the power of His Presence when preaching.   This quiet, humble man had submitted his entire being – vocal chords, tongue, mouth, body, and mind to speak forth God’s message, and in this process teach these hungry and faithful students about the True Authority in speaking forth for God! 

You could have heard a pin drop in this room. 

The second part of Don’s message that was meaningful to me was in his retelling of a story about an earlier sermon he preached to his congregation, and about a young man aged 19, who was very tall and large young man, who was seated at the back of his church, with tears flowing down his face. Don had shared with us that the church he served was not very large in size, so Don said he recognized that perhaps God was speaking to this young man, by the young man’s face and the tears flowing during his message.  When he came to the end of his sermon, he sensed that God was speaking to this young man, so he invited anyone who might have been hearing a Word from God to please come forward. 

Don was preaching that Sunday on the same sermon content, the story of David passing his rule to his son Solomon, to be his successor.  Don told us that this young man obediently came forward, face wet with tears.  (Don was speaking in a regular tone to us at this point.)   He said he looked up at this young man, stood on his toes (Don is short and this young man was very tall) cupped his face in both hands, and whispered into his ear these words:  

“Son… God can do anything!!!” 

For me, these very words came forth from Don’s mouth with power and might and tenderness and splendor.  All at the same time!   Sure signs for me of the presence of God.  These words struck me like a lightening bolt!!  Tears flowed from a place I did not know existed in me.

“Bette…GOD can do anything!!!!”

These words spoken to a young man, first hearing God’s call on his life, spoken from a faithful servant of God – who speaks from first-hand knowledge.  Oh, that these words would come forth more often from the pulpit!  Food coming forth from the mouths of pastors who have been ordained to preach, teach and feed Jesus’ flocks! 

Yes, that night God’s presence filled the classroom.  His Voice thundered throughout the fourth floor halls.  As tears streamed down from my own face, my parched soul soaked up those very words:  “God can do anything!”

This lesson on preaching could not have been any more profound!  Don went on with his sermon to completion.  My hand no longer had strength enough to continue writing.  I needed ALL of my senses and strength to continue listening to this man in front of me, to soak in all of the facial expressions and tone changes in his voice that were just undeniably from a more powerful Source than Don, the student of our class.  He was speaking forth for God, and our class had a Guest Instructor for these next sacred moments!!!!   It was a time of breathlessness and my entire senses were overcome with awe!  With breathless wonder I could sense the full force of this moment only after it was finished.

As Don ended his message and led us in prayer, he stepped to the back of the room, and leaned on the back of one of the chairs.  I could see his head bowed as he: prayed, got his breath back, and recovered….whatever it was he was doing.  There he stood, leaning with his head bowed, hands bracing his entire body against the back of his chair – just as if he had passed the finish line of a 10K race. 

The class was silent, and the professor stepped in and asked us to quit writing on our critiques, pens down, hand them in.  With a smile, our professor exclaimed, “We just had Church.” 

I quietly gathered my things.  Speechless, wet-faced, trying to get out and not wanting words to minimize the full effect and wonder of the experience.  I hugged and thanked Don, and left quietly, certain that everyone in that room understood what had just happened. 

God is so good, so mysterious, and incredibly awesome.  He decided to personally come into our presence IN FORCE, and be the Teacher of Truth.  I cannot understand what caused this night to be different from other nights, since I can sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in each one of our class times together. God gave us a taste of Himself… a lesson in His Splendor and of His Power.  A lesson of what he will do for those faithful servants who submit themselves entirely to him. 

“Let the Word of God do the Work of God.”   God is not some helpless Being who sits back as we do his work for him.  God is the One who does the work, and it is only when we step out of the limelight, and offer ourselves to him to be used that he can do the work.  Of course, we need to prepare, and practice, and do the homework, but it must also be done with a submissive attitude.  Co-workers with God.
We prepare an environment, and invite His Spirit to show up and instruct, transform, create us anew. 

Instigator of Change! 

Bringer of Truth!

Teacher of Teachers!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Sudden Joy

I was flipping through the pages of a book this morning on Amazon.com, and realized again with great joy what exactly God has called me to do with my life.  It is that thing that makes your heart grow warm, that makes your soul pulse with life, and elicits a deep and profound "yes!" with every fiber of your being!  It is that incredible sense of knowing that "this is the best!" and that "this is what I could do for the rest of my life...even if I never got paid to do it!!!" 



Sometimes we are reminded of these truths simply from a book, or a comment made by a close friend.  Often it comes unexpectedly... but when you sense it, you "just know that you KNOW..."

Christian leadership. Spiritual formation. Knowing God. Serving God. Following Jesus.  Helping others to follow Jesus and to know Jesus. Learning how to do it well.  Allowing yourself to be transformed into what God has designed.  Can it get any better than this?  Being God's servant.  Serving His people.  Loving His people.  I am going to get this book, but it will not amount to the joy felt in this moment, and the re-affirmation of what I am created to do.  Praise be to God, and to his Spirit, and to his beautiful Son, Jesus!!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year! Same me...but making new choices

Don't panic. I'm with you.
   There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
   I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.


The above scripture verse is from Isaiah 41:10 taken from The Message.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

(from NIV - for comparison)

This year I plan to follow along with Beth Moore's siestas Scripture memory group.  We have made the commitment to memorize 24 scripture passages in the year 2011.  How exciting to look forward to the ways God will work in making changes in my heart for a new season! May these changes help to form me into the person God has created me to be.  So many people in this world will try to make you think otherwise.  A good friend and mentor once said to me, "Don't listen to the voices that say 'you don't measure up'... but listen to the voice that says 'you can.' "

I have committed to memorize this verse and will carry it with me for the next 14 days.  If you would like to be a part of this, here is the web-link:  http://blog.lproof.org/2011/01/2011-siesta-scripture-memory-team-verse-1.html/comment-page-77#comment-153086